“யெஸ் சார்.. வெல்கம்” - யூனிஃபார்ம் அணிந்த இளைஞன் புன்சிரிப்போடு கண்ணாடிக் கதவு திறந்து வரவேற்றான்.
அது ஏறக்குறைய எல்லா நகரங்களிலும் கிளைபரப்பி, புதியதாக எங்களூருக்கு வந்திருக்கும் ஃபேமலி ப்யூட்டி சலூன்.
உள்ளே சென்றதும் சுற்று முற்றும் பார்த்தேன். உயரமான நாற்காலி ஒன்றில் உட்காரவைக்கப்பட்ட குழந்தையொன்று சிரித்தபடி கண்ணாடி பார்த்துக் கொண்டிருக்க அதற்கு வலிக்காமல் முடி வெட்டிக் கொண்டிருந்தார் ஒரு இளைஞர்.
“வாட் கேன் வி டூ ஃபார் யூ சார்?”
முற்றிலும் குளிரூட்டப்பட்ட அறை. அங்கங்கே ஆங்கில இதழ்கள். மெலிதான இசை கேட்டுக் கொண்டிருந்தது.
“ஹேர் ஸ்டைல் சேஞ்ச் பண்ணனும்”
“ஷ்யூர் சார். ஐ’ல் ப்ரிங் த புக்லெட்” என்றபடி என்னை அமரச் செய்துவிட்டு போனான்.
எனக்கு சின்ன வயது ஞாபகம் வந்தது.
நினைவு தெரிந்த நாளிலிருந்தே முடிவெட்டிக் கொள்ள நான் செல்வது பழனியண்ணன் சலூன்கடைதான். அவரும் எவரெஸ்ட் சலூன், ஹாலிவுட் சலூன், ஸ்டார் ஹேர்லைன்ஸ் என்று என்னென்னவோ பெயர் மாற்றியிருக்கிறார். ஆனாலும் அது எங்களுக்கு பழனியண்ணன் கடைதான். முடிவெட்டிக் கொள்ள என்றில்லாமல் நண்பர்கள் அவ்வப்போது கூடுமிடமாகவும் அது இருந்தது.
முடிவெட்டிக் கொள்ள போகும்போது கூட்டம் அதிகமாக இருந்தால் அவரே
“குமாரு.. எட்டரை மணிக்கு வர்றியா? சரியா இருக்கும்” என்பார்..
எட்டரை மணிக்குப் போனாலும் ஐந்தாறு பேர் அமர்ந்திருப்பார்கள். பழனியண்ணன் கண்ணால் ஒரு சைகை காண்பிப்பார். ‘கொஞ்சம் பொறுடா’ என்றர்த்தம் அதற்கு. அங்கிருக்கும் பெஞ்சில் அமர்வேன்.
அனைத்து தினசரிகளும், நாளிதழும் இருக்கும். சுவற்றில் பாம்பே டையிங் காலண்டரில் முன்னணி நடிகை சிரித்துக் கொண்டிருப்பாள். அனுராதா, டிஸ்கோ சாந்தி வகையறா ஒட்டப்பட்டிருக்காது எனினும் நிச்சயமாக நடிகைகளின் ப்ளோ அப்புகள் சுவற்றில் இருக்கும். கண்ணாடியில் மூலைகளில் சில விசிட்டிங் கார்டுகள் சொருகப்பட்டிருக்கும். ஒரே ஒரு கண்ணாடிக்கு நேர் எதிர் சுவற்றில் மற்றொரு கண்ணாடி மாட்டியிருப்பார். ‘இன்னொரு கண்ணாடி வாங்கணும் குமாரு. எங்க.. வர்றது கைக்கும் வாய்க்குமே சரியா இருக்கு’ என்பார்.
வாரமலரின் குறுக்கெழுத்துப் புதிரை நான் முடிப்பதற்குள் எனக்கான முறை வந்துவிடும்.
முடிவெட்டி முடித்து எவ்வளவு கொடுத்தாலும் வாங்கிக் கொள்வார். ஓரிரு முறை ஒன்றும் கொடுக்காமலே ‘சினிமா போகணும்னே... அப்பா கேட்டா தரமாட்டாரு’ என்று அந்தக் காசை கமிஷனடித்திருக்கிறேன். ஒன்றுமே சொல்ல மாட்டார்.
நடுவில் நாங்கள் சொந்த வீடுகட்டி ஏரியா மாறிய பிறகு அவருடனான தொடர்பு குறைந்தது. கல்லூரிப் படிப்புக்காக சென்னை வந்தபிறகு அவரோடான தொடர்பு முற்றிலும் அற்றுப் போனது.
“எக்ஸ்யுஸ்மி சார்” - புக்லெட்டுடன் வந்த இளைஞன் என் ஃப்ளாஷ்பேக்கைக் கலைத்தான். “ ஃபோர் ஹண்ட்ரட் வரும்சார். உங்க ஃபேஸ் கட்டுக்கு இதோ இந்த நாலு ஸ்டைலும் பொருந்தி வரும் சார்” என்றான்.
“எவ்வளவு நேரமாகும்?”
“ஒன் ஹவர்” என்றான்.
சம்மதித்து கிங்க்ஸ் என்றெழுதப்பட்ட அறைக்குள் அழைத்துச் செல்லப் பட்டேன். ஷாம்பூ வாஷ் என்று ஈஸி சேர் ஒன்றில் படுக்க வைத்து குளிக்க வைக்கப்பட்டேன். முடித்ததும் தலையை கருப்பு பூத்துவாலையால் துடைத்துவிட்டார்கள். எனக்கு மறுபடி பழனியண்ணனும் அவர் தோளில் கிடக்கும் ஈரிழைத்துண்டும் ஞாபகத்துக்கு வந்தது.
அரைமணி நேரம் தலையை என்னென்னவோ செய்தார்கள். நான் போட்டிருந்த டீ ஷர்ட் கொஞ்சமும் கசங்காமல் மென்மையாக என்னைக் கையாண்டார்கள். இடையே சில நிமிடங்கள் என் தலை காய அமரவைக்கப்பட்டபோது தடிமனான சில புத்தங்கங்கள் தரப்பட்டது. எதுவும் பழனியண்ணன் கடை வாரமலருக்கு ஈடாகுமாவெனத் தோன்றியது.
எல்லாம் முடிந்து என்னை சரிபார்த்துக் கொண்டே முன்னறையில் வந்து அமர்ந்தேன்.
பில் கொண்டு வரப்பட, காசை எடுத்து வைத்து விட்டு வாசல் நோக்கி நடந்தேன்.
கதவருகே வந்த இளைஞன் ‘தேங்க்யூ சார்’ என்று கண்ணாடிக் கதவைத் திறந்தான். வெளியே இன்னோவா ஒன்று வந்து நிற்க.. அந்த இளைஞன் ‘பாஸ் வந்துட்டாரு’ என்று உள்ளே திரும்பி குரல் குடுத்தவாறு எனக்கு புன்னகையைச் சிந்தினான். தூரத்தில் நின்ற இன்னோவாவிலிருந்து கதர் வேட்டி சட்டையோடு யாரோ இறங்குவது தெரிந்தது.
என் காரருகே செல்லும்போதுதான் இன்னோவாவிலிருந்து இறங்கி என்னைக் கடந்து செல்லும் நபரைப் பார்த்தேன்..
தோளில் அதே ஈரிழைத்துண்டோடு - பழனியண்ணன்.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
Nice forward mail
First-year students at Veterinary school were attending their first Anatomy class, with a real dead pig.
They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a White sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, 'In Veterinary Medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a Doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the Animal body'. For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, touched his finger in the mouth of the dead pig, withdrew it and put his Finger in his mouth. 'Go ahead and do the same thing,' he told his students.
The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes. But eventually took turns putting their finger in the mouth of the dead pig and tasted in their mouth.
When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said, 'The Second most important quality is observation. I touched with my middle Finger and tasted on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention
They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a White sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, 'In Veterinary Medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a Doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the Animal body'. For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, touched his finger in the mouth of the dead pig, withdrew it and put his Finger in his mouth. 'Go ahead and do the same thing,' he told his students.
The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes. But eventually took turns putting their finger in the mouth of the dead pig and tasted in their mouth.
When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said, 'The Second most important quality is observation. I touched with my middle Finger and tasted on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
How not to get sleep
How not to get sleep?????????????
It is pretty easy. May be I can give you a lot of ideas with all the sleeping problems I have. I found one of the best last night.
Try talking to some one dearest to you, after a long hiatus. I spoke to a friend(once upon a time probably the closest) after almost 2 years. Even though I spoke just for just 30 mins on phone, I wasn't able to sleep the whole night. I really don't know the reason. I was just thinking about the great time we spent together and I was just lost in those thoughts.
Those were the best days of my life.
It is pretty easy. May be I can give you a lot of ideas with all the sleeping problems I have. I found one of the best last night.
Try talking to some one dearest to you, after a long hiatus. I spoke to a friend(once upon a time probably the closest) after almost 2 years. Even though I spoke just for just 30 mins on phone, I wasn't able to sleep the whole night. I really don't know the reason. I was just thinking about the great time we spent together and I was just lost in those thoughts.
Those were the best days of my life.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Good one!!!
A yuppie was opening the door of his BMW when a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the yuppie complained bitterly about the damage to his car.
"Officer, look what they've done to my Beemer!"
"You yuppies are so materialistic, it's ridiculous" retorted the officer. "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off."
"Oh, my God!" screamed the yuppie, noticing the bloody stump where his arm used to be. "My Rolex!"
"Officer, look what they've done to my Beemer!"
"You yuppies are so materialistic, it's ridiculous" retorted the officer. "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off."
"Oh, my God!" screamed the yuppie, noticing the bloody stump where his arm used to be. "My Rolex!"
Sunday, May 31, 2009
My day at the bank
I am not sure about the other Indians in US, but most of the students here do not carry much cash in the wallets. There are very few places where you would need cash like laundry, cab drivers, road side shops(very few though). I cannot think of any other place where they wont accept credit or debit cards. I was planning to shift my house over the weekend so I had to rent a cab for shifting my stuffs. So I wanted some cash for paying the cab driver.
On Friday afternoon at around 3 pm I went to an ATM and picked up a $20 bill. Normally cab drivers do give the exact change back but there have been instances where they run out of change(at least that's what they tell us). So I wanted to make sure that I get change from the bank for the $20 bill.
Banks here in the US is not as crowded as we used to see in India so I entered one of the nearest banks and it was almost deserted. It was a bank pretty close to the university and I normally frequent that bank. There was a girl at the teller counter who was damn beautiful and I always wanted to talk to her for quite a long time. As no one was there at her counter I went and stood there in the line waiting for her to call me.
When she called me in after 10 secs my heart was pounding and I really don't know that reason. I have never felt like that before. :-)
She welcomed me and asked how she can help me out.
I was in such a state that I blurted out, "I need some change for 20 ducks". I mixed 20 bucks and 20 dollars and blurted it as 20 ducks.
She was laughing like hell and told me that we do not give changes here for ducks. Then I came back to reality and showed her my $20 bill and told that I wanted change for this. She gave me the change and asked me whether I was a student here in the university.
Then she was talking to me about general stuffs like my school, which I am from, etc. etc. The conversation lasted for almost 10 mins as she had too many questions about India. I was happily answering all the questions and she was very happy that I was talking to her. She even inquired me if the foreigners are exploited so badly as it is shown in the movie Slumdog Millionaire.
At last I don't feel bad for the mistake I made initially, though I feel embarrassed now. May be you will also agree to that.
It was my day at the bank
On Friday afternoon at around 3 pm I went to an ATM and picked up a $20 bill. Normally cab drivers do give the exact change back but there have been instances where they run out of change(at least that's what they tell us). So I wanted to make sure that I get change from the bank for the $20 bill.
Banks here in the US is not as crowded as we used to see in India so I entered one of the nearest banks and it was almost deserted. It was a bank pretty close to the university and I normally frequent that bank. There was a girl at the teller counter who was damn beautiful and I always wanted to talk to her for quite a long time. As no one was there at her counter I went and stood there in the line waiting for her to call me.
When she called me in after 10 secs my heart was pounding and I really don't know that reason. I have never felt like that before. :-)
She welcomed me and asked how she can help me out.
I was in such a state that I blurted out, "I need some change for 20 ducks". I mixed 20 bucks and 20 dollars and blurted it as 20 ducks.
She was laughing like hell and told me that we do not give changes here for ducks. Then I came back to reality and showed her my $20 bill and told that I wanted change for this. She gave me the change and asked me whether I was a student here in the university.
Then she was talking to me about general stuffs like my school, which I am from, etc. etc. The conversation lasted for almost 10 mins as she had too many questions about India. I was happily answering all the questions and she was very happy that I was talking to her. She even inquired me if the foreigners are exploited so badly as it is shown in the movie Slumdog Millionaire.
At last I don't feel bad for the mistake I made initially, though I feel embarrassed now. May be you will also agree to that.
It was my day at the bank
This one is for my Mom
I was talking to my parents yesterday on my phone. The usual Saturday evening talk, which happens to be the only time we talk for the week. I was telling my father that I am vacating from the current place and I will be moving to a new one. This is how the conversation went.
FYI: My parents always put their mobile on speaker phone when they talk to me.
Me: Appa, I am shifting my house to a better place this weekend.
Appa: How come it is a better place?
Me: It is a bigger house and the rent is also pretty less
Appa: How can that happen? Are you moving away from the University?
Me: Hmmmm, yes I am moving away. But not very much. Just an extra 5 mins walk.
Appa: Why do you need to do that? Are you moving with the same set of people with whom you are staying now?
Me: No, I am going to stay with a new person. All the other people are going to stay in the same apartment
Appa: Oh, Ok.
I was able to hear my Amma tell something in the background (probably she was little far away from the phone)
Amma: Ask him whether he is going to stay with a guy or a girl????????????
Appa: Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha
Me: @#!$%^%#@%&**%^$##%#$#^&*&^
I didnt expect this from my Mom though. May be she got suspicious with my replies. It took me 5 mins to clarify that I am going to stay only with a guy.
FYI: My parents always put their mobile on speaker phone when they talk to me.
Me: Appa, I am shifting my house to a better place this weekend.
Appa: How come it is a better place?
Me: It is a bigger house and the rent is also pretty less
Appa: How can that happen? Are you moving away from the University?
Me: Hmmmm, yes I am moving away. But not very much. Just an extra 5 mins walk.
Appa: Why do you need to do that? Are you moving with the same set of people with whom you are staying now?
Me: No, I am going to stay with a new person. All the other people are going to stay in the same apartment
Appa: Oh, Ok.
I was able to hear my Amma tell something in the background (probably she was little far away from the phone)
Amma: Ask him whether he is going to stay with a guy or a girl????????????
Appa: Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha
Me: @#!$%^%#@%&**%^$##%#$#^&*&^
I didnt expect this from my Mom though. May be she got suspicious with my replies. It took me 5 mins to clarify that I am going to stay only with a guy.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
மகாபாரதக் கதை - For a change
ஓஷோ சொல்லும் கதைகளில் ஒன்று இது
திண்ணையில் அமர்ந்திருந்த தருமரிடம் பிச்சை கேட்கிறான் ஒருவன். ஏதோ வேலையாய் இருந்த அவர் ‘நாளைக்கு வாப்பா’ என்கிறார்.
இதைப் பார்த்துக் கொண்டிருந்த பீமன் உடனே முரசை எடுத்துக் கொண்டுபோய் கிராமத்தின் நடுவில் நின்று கொண்டு முரசடிக்கிறான்.
“தம்பி... என்னப்பா செய்கிறாய்? எதற்கு இப்போது முரசடித்து ஊரைக்கூட்டுகிறாய்?” என்று கேட்கிறார் தர்மர்.
“எங்கள் அண்ணன் காலத்தை வென்று விட்டான்’ என்று இந்த ஊருக்கு அறிவிக்கப்போகிறேன் அண்ணா..”
தருமருக்கு ஒன்றும் விளங்கவில்லை. “காலத்தை வென்றேனா.. நானா..?” குழப்பத்தோடே கேட்கிறார்.
“ஆமாம் அண்ணா. பிச்சைக்காரரை நாளைக்கு வரச் சொன்னீர்களே? நீங்கள் நாளைக்கு இருப்பீர்களா? அவன் நாளைக்கு இருப்பானா? நீங்கள் இருந்தால் பிச்சையிடும் மனோபாவம் உங்களுக்கு இருக்குமா? அவன் இருந்தால் நாளைக்கும் அவன் பிச்சைக்காரனாகவே இருப்பானா? நாளைக்கு உங்கள் இருவரின் சந்திப்பு நடைபெறுமா? அப்படியே நடைபெற்றாலும் பிச்சை போடுவீர்களா? எவ்வளவு நிச்சயமாய் இத்தனை கேள்விகளின் சாத்தியங்களை உணர்ந்து நாளை அவனை வரச் சொன்னீர்கள்? அப்படியானால் நீங்கள் காலத்தை வென்றுவிட்டீர்கள் என்றுதானே அர்த்தம்? என்னை விடுங்கள். இப்போதோ இதை ஊராருக்கு அறிவிக்கிறேன். ஏனென்றால் என்னைப் பொறுத்தவரை இந்த கணத்தை நான் தவறவிட்டால் அடுத்த கணம் நிச்சயமாய் என் வசமில்லை. அதனால்தான் இப்போதே அறிவிக்கிறேன் என்று அவசரப்படுகிறேன்” என்றான் பீமன்.
“பொறு தம்பி. தவறுதான். அவனை அழை. இப்போதே உதவுகிறேன். நாளை என்ன அடுத்த நிமிஷமே நிஜமில்லைதான்” என்று சொல்கிறார் தருமர்.
ஆக.. நல்லதை அன்றே அப்போதே செய்துவிடுங்கள். இந்த நிமிஷம் மட்டுமே நிஜம்!
திண்ணையில் அமர்ந்திருந்த தருமரிடம் பிச்சை கேட்கிறான் ஒருவன். ஏதோ வேலையாய் இருந்த அவர் ‘நாளைக்கு வாப்பா’ என்கிறார்.
இதைப் பார்த்துக் கொண்டிருந்த பீமன் உடனே முரசை எடுத்துக் கொண்டுபோய் கிராமத்தின் நடுவில் நின்று கொண்டு முரசடிக்கிறான்.
“தம்பி... என்னப்பா செய்கிறாய்? எதற்கு இப்போது முரசடித்து ஊரைக்கூட்டுகிறாய்?” என்று கேட்கிறார் தர்மர்.
“எங்கள் அண்ணன் காலத்தை வென்று விட்டான்’ என்று இந்த ஊருக்கு அறிவிக்கப்போகிறேன் அண்ணா..”
தருமருக்கு ஒன்றும் விளங்கவில்லை. “காலத்தை வென்றேனா.. நானா..?” குழப்பத்தோடே கேட்கிறார்.
“ஆமாம் அண்ணா. பிச்சைக்காரரை நாளைக்கு வரச் சொன்னீர்களே? நீங்கள் நாளைக்கு இருப்பீர்களா? அவன் நாளைக்கு இருப்பானா? நீங்கள் இருந்தால் பிச்சையிடும் மனோபாவம் உங்களுக்கு இருக்குமா? அவன் இருந்தால் நாளைக்கும் அவன் பிச்சைக்காரனாகவே இருப்பானா? நாளைக்கு உங்கள் இருவரின் சந்திப்பு நடைபெறுமா? அப்படியே நடைபெற்றாலும் பிச்சை போடுவீர்களா? எவ்வளவு நிச்சயமாய் இத்தனை கேள்விகளின் சாத்தியங்களை உணர்ந்து நாளை அவனை வரச் சொன்னீர்கள்? அப்படியானால் நீங்கள் காலத்தை வென்றுவிட்டீர்கள் என்றுதானே அர்த்தம்? என்னை விடுங்கள். இப்போதோ இதை ஊராருக்கு அறிவிக்கிறேன். ஏனென்றால் என்னைப் பொறுத்தவரை இந்த கணத்தை நான் தவறவிட்டால் அடுத்த கணம் நிச்சயமாய் என் வசமில்லை. அதனால்தான் இப்போதே அறிவிக்கிறேன் என்று அவசரப்படுகிறேன்” என்றான் பீமன்.
“பொறு தம்பி. தவறுதான். அவனை அழை. இப்போதே உதவுகிறேன். நாளை என்ன அடுத்த நிமிஷமே நிஜமில்லைதான்” என்று சொல்கிறார் தருமர்.
ஆக.. நல்லதை அன்றே அப்போதே செய்துவிடுங்கள். இந்த நிமிஷம் மட்டுமே நிஜம்!
Sunday, April 12, 2009
This is how an Engineer thinks
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer wait for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumes, "What's with these guys? We've been waiting for 15 minutes!"
The pastor says, "Hey, here comes the groundskeeper. Let's have a word with him."
"Say, George, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" the doctor asks.
The groundskeeper tells them that the other golfers are a group of blind firefighters who lost their sight saving the clubhouse from a fire and that they come and play for free whenever they want.
The group is silent for a moment.
The pastor says, "That's so sad. I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor says, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer says, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
The pastor says, "Hey, here comes the groundskeeper. Let's have a word with him."
"Say, George, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" the doctor asks.
The groundskeeper tells them that the other golfers are a group of blind firefighters who lost their sight saving the clubhouse from a fire and that they come and play for free whenever they want.
The group is silent for a moment.
The pastor says, "That's so sad. I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor says, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer says, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Monday, February 9, 2009
Amazing Golf Joke
A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.
"I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife," he tells the doctor, "when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows. We went to look for it, and I noticed one of the cows had something white in its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball stuck right in the cow's butt. That's when I made my mistake."
"What did you do?" asks the doctor.
"Well, as I was standing there holding up the tail, I yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!'"
"I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife," he tells the doctor, "when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows. We went to look for it, and I noticed one of the cows had something white in its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball stuck right in the cow's butt. That's when I made my mistake."
"What did you do?" asks the doctor.
"Well, as I was standing there holding up the tail, I yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!'"
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Lunatics are better than Humans
Jon and Dan are in a mental institution which has an annual contest that picks two of the best patients and gives them two questions. If they answer correctly, they are released.
Jon is called into the doctor's office first. The doctor says, "Jon, what would happen if I poked out one of your eyes?"
Jon says, "I'd be half blind."
"That's correct. What would happen if I poked out both your eyes?"
"I'd be completely blind." The doctor tells him that he is free to go. On Jon's way out he tells Dan the questions and answers.
The doctor asks Dan, "What would happen if I cut off one of your ears?"
Dan says, "I'd be half blind."
The doctor, slightly puzzled, continues, "What would happen if I cut off both your ears?"
"I'd be completely blind."
"Dan, how can you explain that you'd be blind?" asks the doctor.
"Well," replies Dan, "my hat would fall over my eyes."
Jon is called into the doctor's office first. The doctor says, "Jon, what would happen if I poked out one of your eyes?"
Jon says, "I'd be half blind."
"That's correct. What would happen if I poked out both your eyes?"
"I'd be completely blind." The doctor tells him that he is free to go. On Jon's way out he tells Dan the questions and answers.
The doctor asks Dan, "What would happen if I cut off one of your ears?"
Dan says, "I'd be half blind."
The doctor, slightly puzzled, continues, "What would happen if I cut off both your ears?"
"I'd be completely blind."
"Dan, how can you explain that you'd be blind?" asks the doctor.
"Well," replies Dan, "my hat would fall over my eyes."
Monday, January 26, 2009
The many firsts of India's 60th R-Day
India's 60th Republic Day was the nation's first such celebration without a Prime Minister. Defence Minister A K Antony took over the Prime Minister Manmohan Singh's duties on Monday.
There were 11 Ashok Chakra awardees. The number was the highest ever.
Among them were Hemant Karkare, Ashok Kamte, Vijay Salaskar and Tukaram Omble -- the policemen who lost their lives on the first night of the Mumbai attacks exactly two months ago.
A woman President taking salute as the commander in chief of the armed forces.
A woman officer leading the Air Force contingent -- a sign of resurgent India marching on.
There were 11 Ashok Chakra awardees. The number was the highest ever.
Among them were Hemant Karkare, Ashok Kamte, Vijay Salaskar and Tukaram Omble -- the policemen who lost their lives on the first night of the Mumbai attacks exactly two months ago.
A woman President taking salute as the commander in chief of the armed forces.
A woman officer leading the Air Force contingent -- a sign of resurgent India marching on.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
The President's Joke
Dick Cheney walks into the Oval Office and sees The President whooping and hollering.
"What's the matter, Mr. President?" The Vice President inquired.
"Nothing at all, boss. I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time!" The President beamed.
"How long did it take you?"
"Well, the box said '3 to 5 Years' but I did it in a month!"
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Keep your Popcorns ready
A very Happy and prosperous New year 2009 to All....
This year is going to be crucial for Kollywood. Almost all the big stars have made it clear that they will have a release this year. Here’s a list of the 10 most eagerly awaited films…
AAYIRATHIL ORUVAN
Cast: Parthiban, Karthi, Reema Sen, Andrea Director: Selvaraghavan, Music: G V Prakash
The film is the first-of-its-kind in the genre of action-adventure-fantasy and has been in the making for the last 18 months. Selva has opted for the state-of-the-art special effects and graphics in this big-budget entertainer, which sources say costs around Rs 20 crore.
ASOKAVANAM
Cast: Vikram, Aishwarya Rai, Prithviraj, Prabhu, Priyamani Director: Mani Ratnam, Music: A R Rahman
No one, just no one in mainstream cinema portrays gossamer romances and human relationships the way Mani Ratnam does. Now, he is making this film as a trilingual in Tamil, Hindi and Telugu. The film, it is said, is a modern day Ramayan.
AYAN
Cast: Surya, Tamannaah, Akashdeep Saigal Director: K V Anand Music: Harris Jayaraj
A brand new pair with a director who is innovative. If that isn’t enough, the movie will see Tammu doing her first glamour role, while Surya with his six-pack abs will look awesome.
ENDHIRAN
Cast: Rajinikanth, Aishwarya Rai Director: Shankar Music: A R Rahman
Rajinikanth and Shankar are coming together again in this sciencefiction movie being billed as a mass entertainer. The movie is said to be the costliest film being made in India with Hollywood technicians.
GOA
Cast: Premji, Vaibhav, Aravind and Jai Director: Venkat Prabhu Music: Yuvan Shankar Raja
Venkat Prabhu, in his last two films, has established that he can do films with little known actors. The director is on the lookout for a Hollywood actress to play the female lead in the film. Today, the director is a brand who has an audience for his kind of films.
KANTHASAMY
Cast: Vikram, Shriya Director: Susi Ganesan Music: Devi Sri Prasad
Size does matter, is what Tamil cinema’s first super hero film is all about. It is going to be an outand-out Vikram fantasy film, with Shriya doing a glamorous role.
NAAN KADAVUL
Cast: Arya, Pooja Director: Bala Music: Illayaraja
The film, said to be Bala’s magnum opus, has taken nearly two years to complete. Many believe it is going to be Arya’s ticket to stardom as Bala has the reputation of giving big breaks to his artistes.
PADIKKATHAVAN
Cast: Dhanush, Tamannaah, Atul Kulkarni and Vivek Director: Sooraj Music: Mani Sharma
Dhanush is riding a wave and has worked his way up with light- hearted entertainers. It is an all-new team and the director is known for his masala films laced with comedy. There is not going to be a dull moment in this slapstick, action comedy.
SULTAN — THE WARRIOR
Cast: Rajinikanth, Vijayalakshmi. Director: Soundarya Rajinikanth Music: A R Rahman
It is a bold and daring experiment being carried out by Soundarya Rajinikanth and her Ocher Studios, as she is making a full length animation film with her dad, the superstar, playing the central character.
VILLU
Cast: Vijay, Nayanthara, Prakash Raj, Vadivel Director: Prabhudeva Music: Devi Sri Prasad
The movie is expected to be a complete mass entertainer. Vijay is a one-man army when it comes to providing comedy, romance, action and dance.Vijay is being paired opposite Nayanthara for the first time and his favourite director Prabhudeva is in charge. Their last film together Pokkiri was a big hit and fans are expecting a lot from this film too.
This year is going to be crucial for Kollywood. Almost all the big stars have made it clear that they will have a release this year. Here’s a list of the 10 most eagerly awaited films…
AAYIRATHIL ORUVAN
Cast: Parthiban, Karthi, Reema Sen, Andrea Director: Selvaraghavan, Music: G V Prakash
The film is the first-of-its-kind in the genre of action-adventure-fantasy and has been in the making for the last 18 months. Selva has opted for the state-of-the-art special effects and graphics in this big-budget entertainer, which sources say costs around Rs 20 crore.
ASOKAVANAM
Cast: Vikram, Aishwarya Rai, Prithviraj, Prabhu, Priyamani Director: Mani Ratnam, Music: A R Rahman
No one, just no one in mainstream cinema portrays gossamer romances and human relationships the way Mani Ratnam does. Now, he is making this film as a trilingual in Tamil, Hindi and Telugu. The film, it is said, is a modern day Ramayan.
AYAN
Cast: Surya, Tamannaah, Akashdeep Saigal Director: K V Anand Music: Harris Jayaraj
A brand new pair with a director who is innovative. If that isn’t enough, the movie will see Tammu doing her first glamour role, while Surya with his six-pack abs will look awesome.
ENDHIRAN
Cast: Rajinikanth, Aishwarya Rai Director: Shankar Music: A R Rahman
Rajinikanth and Shankar are coming together again in this sciencefiction movie being billed as a mass entertainer. The movie is said to be the costliest film being made in India with Hollywood technicians.
GOA
Cast: Premji, Vaibhav, Aravind and Jai Director: Venkat Prabhu Music: Yuvan Shankar Raja
Venkat Prabhu, in his last two films, has established that he can do films with little known actors. The director is on the lookout for a Hollywood actress to play the female lead in the film. Today, the director is a brand who has an audience for his kind of films.
KANTHASAMY
Cast: Vikram, Shriya Director: Susi Ganesan Music: Devi Sri Prasad
Size does matter, is what Tamil cinema’s first super hero film is all about. It is going to be an outand-out Vikram fantasy film, with Shriya doing a glamorous role.
NAAN KADAVUL
Cast: Arya, Pooja Director: Bala Music: Illayaraja
The film, said to be Bala’s magnum opus, has taken nearly two years to complete. Many believe it is going to be Arya’s ticket to stardom as Bala has the reputation of giving big breaks to his artistes.
PADIKKATHAVAN
Cast: Dhanush, Tamannaah, Atul Kulkarni and Vivek Director: Sooraj Music: Mani Sharma
Dhanush is riding a wave and has worked his way up with light- hearted entertainers. It is an all-new team and the director is known for his masala films laced with comedy. There is not going to be a dull moment in this slapstick, action comedy.
SULTAN — THE WARRIOR
Cast: Rajinikanth, Vijayalakshmi. Director: Soundarya Rajinikanth Music: A R Rahman
It is a bold and daring experiment being carried out by Soundarya Rajinikanth and her Ocher Studios, as she is making a full length animation film with her dad, the superstar, playing the central character.
VILLU
Cast: Vijay, Nayanthara, Prakash Raj, Vadivel Director: Prabhudeva Music: Devi Sri Prasad
The movie is expected to be a complete mass entertainer. Vijay is a one-man army when it comes to providing comedy, romance, action and dance.Vijay is being paired opposite Nayanthara for the first time and his favourite director Prabhudeva is in charge. Their last film together Pokkiri was a big hit and fans are expecting a lot from this film too.
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